Don’t call it a comeback, I have been here for years…

It is throwback Thursday #tbt, so it is only fitting to throw out a line from a monster classic, Mama said Knock You Out’ by LL Cool J. I am guilty of stepping away from my post for a few weeks to manage, how can I put this politely, a couple of life events that I will discuss further in detail with you in the near future because you are my people and I can share all highs and lows with you.

What I will tell you right now is this –

Don’t let anyone try to silence you.

If that has happened, now is the time to reclaim your voice AND your crown.

Read that again.

If you are not looking, life can snatch your wig, and the edges if you let it. For my Caucasian sisters, message me for translation.

We need to stay focused. Be vigilant about the people and the energy surrounding us. Don’t let our guard down. The feeling ‘of not being enough’ is insidious. It will creep into your...

If only I were....

I wish I were...

How would complete those statements?

For many years, I would spend much of my time lamenting on all of my shortcomings. I rarely, if ever, celebrated the amazing woman I was because I was raised to believe it was sinful to think 'much of myself'. 

When negative beliefs establish themselves as your core beliefs, they can cause you to have mental blocks about everything in your life. This, in turn, causes you to blame yourself for everything that goes wrong in your life, which ultimately results in self-sabotaging everything that you try to accomplish.

I was on a never-ending cycle of negativity which only ended up further affirming my negative self-beliefs. Breaking away from negative thinking isn't an easy task. I learned the greater my negative self-view, the harder they were to overcome. However, with the help of a truly amazing coach and coursework, I was able to overcome them and develop a more positive mindset helped me attract...

I was notorious for running out on time on projects and pulling double duty at the final hour. I get the work done and the project completed, but at what cost? 

 We could all use a few more hours in the day.

My issue was, I wasn't making the most of my hours? Everyone is limited to 24 hours per day - it only makes sense that the people getting the greatest productivity from those hours are going to win the game of life.

Here’s the most powerful productivity tip you’ll ever read: Always do the most important thing first.

How simple is that?

See why it’s so important to do your most important task first:

  You consistently get the most important things done. Of course, if you do the most important thing first each day, you consistently get the most important thing done. How many people can say that? Everyone else is avoiding the most important thing, because it’s often the least pleasant.

• You don’t have a lot of competition...

The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision. – Helen Keller.

Ok, I have a confession....I am addicted to what I see myself accomplishing in the future. I spend most a day planning, talking about it, or focusing on my goals. My focus is unrelenting. I think it's because I lost so much time on focusing on things that didn't serve me, but I was part of a high control group and focused on what was important to them. Also, I was seeking external validation from people that did not have my best interest and nothing I did was ever good enough.

 Now...

Different story.

Different life.

Different VISION.

I stopped burying my hopes and dreams to follow the [hidden] agenda of any person and/or group. It was time to follow my heart, dreams, and purpose. 

I visualize myself becoming a master of those things that frustrate me today. Seeing myself as a winner encourages me to take the steps towards overcoming obstacles. 

I am a...

Work...work...work...work...work..

No, I am not quoting a Rihanna song, but the anthem of the American workforce shared by many around the world.

Do you feel as if you world revolves around a demanding workload, but you don't have much to show for it?

If you were asked to start your day earlier, give up certain foods, spend less time on social media, or stop closely associating with people that are not helping you become a better person, would you do it?

Let's be real. Are you ready for this?

Most people don’t believe they fear success, but most of them would be incorrect.

I will let that sink in for a minute.

Our lives rarely change because we become comfortable with our situation. We might not like it, but it’s comfortable. We know what to expect. We might be unhappy, but we know we can deal with it.

In a nutshell, we don’t like change. We also don’t like the prospect of failing or of standing out.

There were so many things that I hated about...

"I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my side"

-Dr. Maya Angelou

We called each other friends. I told her I had her back.

I lied.

I abused her. Betrayed her. Neglected her. 

I made excuses for the men and women that came into her life and hurt her. I watched her put on a brave face while her heart broke into a million little pieces. I looked away as she would quickly wipe away tears from heartbreak, loneliness, betrayal, before the damage could be done to her immaculately made up face. It hurt to watch her try to hide the pain and tears, yet...I did nothing. I remained silent.

I watched her struggle to appear happy when people told her she looked, 'so much prettier when she smiled' without considering the emotional pain she was in, that robbed her of sleep at night and peace of mind during the day.

I didn't console her when she sought counseling for alcohol abuse after a suicide attempt because the painful childhood memories relentlessly haunted...

The dreaded COVID-19 virus has many of us holed up at home in quarantine. So many of us are looking forward to the days of being outside and moving about freely. Although the deadly pandemic has had many drawbacks, there has been one thing that keeps surfacing time and time again, it is the ability to work from home.

Ok, no one wants to worry about their three year-old bouncing into view during a Zoom meeting or their lovable dog barking at every passing car while their on a call with their boss, but there is something to be said about not going through the 6am morning rush, most likely earlier start times for those in bigger cities.

To cut down on the carbon footprint, thereby sparing our beautiful planet more toxic pollutants in the air is one thing, it's another way to spare  our time and take it easy on  the budget. We spend less time getting 'ready' for work each morning and save money in commuter travel expenses. 

This has many...

I have a secret....

I can a bit too impulsive at times. The go-getter in me wants to take action and get things done....now!  Acting quickly with decisiveness comes in handy in life, but sometimes, impulsive action has lead to regret.  I had to learn to proceed with careful consideration more often than not.  This learned behavior has also helped me to become more successful and more productive.

 It's hard to track impulsive actions and quick decisions. Having clear, planned out goals helps to ensure I reach my milestones and stay on track.

Another tip that I use to help me stay on track is setting up reminders all over my house of the big-ticket goals that I set for myself. I love seeing them everyday because this fuels me to achieve them.

Also, re-committing to them several times each day helps to ensure I make goal-centered choices and impulsive-happy or -driven decisions. It is easy to get sidetracked by frivolous things, but I stay focused. The...

I can't do this anymore!

Sound familiar?

I can't and won't begin to tell you how many times I wanted to give up and throw in that damn grimy towel. I had enough of the long days, sleepless nights, and heavy workload that left my soul weary. Who needs this? Is it worth it?

It seemed like everyone around me were like Pollyanna-chipper/Stepford wives happy boss babes with an all-is-right in the Universe aura. Meanwhile, I looked like I needed to pack on more concealer to cover the dark circles under my tired eyes and take another sip of tepid espresso. 

You feel me? Of course, you know what I'm talking about because as a woman you have had that moment at least once in your life, and if you haven't, live long enough, it is coming. Anyhoo, I mistakenly thought, the issue was me and it was time to give this beautiful dream up. 

Did I give up?

Are you reading this?

Aha! I didn't give up...I learned that I had to change my formula to be successful. One of the key areas I had to...

I can handle most things well, but rejection was one of my biggest fears, because I always took it personally. The lower my self-esteem the worst my reaction to rejection, perceived or otherwise.

My strategy was to reject before being rejected. Keep a cool distance, remain emotional detached, and not keep a cool, calm exterior. The trouble is this approach affected my ability to deeply connect with people and build sustainable relationships.

Let's face it, no one likes being rejected.

Rejection can sting, but it doesn’t have to derail your efforts or your future. Rejection is a part of life that everyone must face.

While rejection isn’t enjoyable, it’s rarely fatal. Luckily, there are strategies you can use to help you use rejection as a stepping-stone to success.

Try these tips to deal with rejection quickly and effectively, so you can move on:

1. Take a short break. Whether a potential romantic partner, your boss, or a Hollywood director rejected you, take a short...