Can Being a Little Selfish Enhance Your Life?

For as long as I can remember, I was told like so many other young girls to be nice and share with others. As a girl, I was raised that showing consideration for others and putting them first was paramount to be accepted by God and community. I was taught God first, family second, neighbor third, and myself…last! No, really! I was taught that putting myself was selfish and ungodly.  Does that mean that being selfish is always wrong?  

After years of abusive treatment from members of my family, ex-husband, and spiritual community, it became clear to me that putting them and others before my own needs was insanely toxic and damaging my self-esteem. As the saying goes, ‘you cannot pour from an empty’, meaning you cannot give what you do not have and if you are constantly putting others first or pouring into others, when do you have time to pour into yourself? 

I learned how important it is to practice self-care and take care of yourself in order to be your best self! Let me share with you some of the top benefits I have seen in my life when I put my interests first. 

The first big noticeable change in my life was how much happier I was each day. I started to spend more time on activities I was passionate about without feeling any guilt or remorse. I was one happy camper! If you're happier, you're more productive, altruistic, and resilient and your friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors will all benefit from a happier you! Just ask them. 

Another noticeable change was I started feeling better and my health improved. I make time to exercise, get enough sleep, and eat clean has improved my health in so many ways. When you're healthier, you're better able to care for those around you.  

It was easier to set boundaries and enjoy healthier relationships with family and friends, ensuring that my emotional needs were satisfied and it made it much more difficult being manipulated or taking advantage of by people. 

This newfound freedom also provided the opportunity for needed self-development which improved my self-esteem and confidence. Taking time away from always taking care of others to spend on my personal growth enabled me to become the best possible version of myself.  

My life has become much more meaningful when I focus on my growth and development. 

Don’t think of self-care as selfishness. Remember, by helping yourself, you can help others. Seek to find the ideal balance between focusing on yourself and focusing on others. The benefits you receive will also benefit the people in your life, so in the end, everyone will ultimately be grateful.